now what?

I thought I’d share my first journal entry as I embarked on my trip to Peru- it’s me reflecting on how I have gotten to the point I’m at today:

8-30-15

Today is the first day of the rest of my life. The past week/month has been a complete whirlwind.  I have known for a while that I wanted more out of life, and I wanted my life to have a purpose, but I’ve been unclear about what I can do to reach that purpose.  My 33rd Birthday is approaching in October, and I’ve come to the realization that I can’t keep pushing back my dreams because I’m scared/comfortable in life.   I’ve been in a job for a long time that is very demanding.  I make good money, and have had the opportunity to visit some really cool places, but I dedicate so much of my mental space to my role, that I haven’t allowed much room for my own creativity, or time to take care of myself so I can be happy with who I am.  I know one day I would love to have a loving husband/family.  I want the opportunity to experience other cultures, and see how other people live their lives.  Financially, I have ben able to visit some awesome places (South Africa, Costa Rica), I’ve been able to purchase my own condo, a great car, some amazing meals at fancy restaurants, but a big piece of me is still empty.  On August 3rd I woke up and decided I needed to make a big change in my life. To stop going through the motions. To push myself to be uncomfortable, and to be completely vulnerable for the first time.  I quit my job.  My company was very supportive of my decision, and allowed me to stay until the end of the month (one more paycheck will definitely help).  Though the decision was tough, it was encouraging to hear how many people were supportive of my choice, how many people said they were jealous of my ability to do this, etc.

I’m not sure how long I will take off- I’m thinking 6 months should be enough time to give myself, but I’m going to be flexible depending on what happens. I should have enough to live for a year.  During my time off I plan on taking trips to places I’ve always wanted to go to, to volunteer and help others, to try new things that I’ve always wanted to do, and to really evaluate what is most important in life.